I needed help in January of this year, 2020. I went down a really bad mental lane, started going down to the point that I started logically thinking about suicide and I had to ask for help. This is how I did it.
I had a video that was made about me that really, really, really got to me it made me feel like less of a human being. I wasn’t approached. A lot of assumptions were made about me. I felt exploited. I felt used. I felt abused. I felt that I didn’t have a voice.
I internalized it all because my passion is helping other people. That really hurt me. It hurt me to the point that I started getting in my head this feeling that “none of this is worth it” and I didn’t really want to be here. So I noticed my problem. The most dangerous thing I can ever feel is hopelessness. When I feel hopelessness now, that is my big red flag for help, and I had to ask for help.
I was in a hotel room for work and I had watched this. It just it fucked with my head. Why would somebody do this to me? I didn’t understand. And then I thought, Maybe I’m just a bad person. Maybe I’m a bad human being.
That negative self-talk and hopelessness started taking over. As soon as I noticed myself logically thinking, Hey, this is what I need to do, to end my pain, just to end this bullshit, that was my alert to ask for help.
Asking for help
I asked my mom for help and then I asked a couple of my close friends for help. How I did it was to override those voices that were telling me that I was going to be a burden, that nobody cared. That, you know what, I was going to add more trouble to what they were already going through.
Our voices beat us up. They silence us. You have to have that red flag that goes off. Mine is that hopelessness. When I notice I’m logically starting to think very negative thoughts, I know I need to start asking for help. I called my mom and told her, “I need help.” Just like that. “I need help. I’m hurting, and here’s what I’m hurting with.” I was as clear as I possibly could be with her about why I was hurting.
I didn’t need any kind of fixing or anything. I just needed positive support to help reinforce and overcome the thoughts that I was feeling. After I talked to her, I ended up talking to some friends and literally saying, “I need some help. Here’s where my head’s going. Help me.”
You know, the worst part of this is when we start to feel that way and we isolate ourselves. The strongest thing we can do is ask for help and it literally is just saying, “I need help.” That’s how I’ve learned to do it.
The power of saying “I need help”
I will tell people I need help because I still struggle., I struggle a lot. But I also know the power of saying “I need help.” If you’re not comfortable telling somebody in person, the other thing that you can do is write them a letter, saying “I need help and here’s what I need help with.” But don’t give it a lot of time. You’ve got to get that into their hands because you need the help as soon as possible
Help means support. I need that positive reinforcement. Here’s what I’m going through. Let’s brainstorm it together and do it together. You know, we think that nobody’s going to jump in and help us, but you’d be surprised who does.
Each time that you do ask for help, you have to celebrate the people who help you out so that next time you have to ask for help it becomes easier, it becomes quicker. You don’t get as dark and deep down that road. That’s my experience on it. I literally just have to ask for help when it happens.
Do it simply
It’s okay to ask for help and I do it very simply. “I need help. I need help. I need to talk. This is what I’m going through. This is what my brain’s doing. I need help.”
You’d be surprised what that alone does. It gives you a logical thought process. I needed logical thoughts that would override the emotion. “God that makes sense. That makes a—shit I forgot my medication. I forgot this. I need to do this. Yep, I’ve got to set up that doctor’s appointment.”
That starts holding me accountable, too, pushing me to be a better person in a non-negative way. It makes me think, “Gosh, you’re right. I need to do that. Okay, yeah, remind me, you know, tomorrow, to make sure that it was done.”
That way I kind of have something to look forward to. I can tell them, “Hey, guess what? I set that doctor’s appointment.” And when they say, “Hey, good job. Way to go,” I’m like, “Yes, yeah, I’m doing it. I’m fighting through. I’m fighting through and I’m not alone.” That is what it’s about, asking for help
Find the help that works for you
I hope this helps somebody. Don’t be afraid just to say the words “help me” because it makes a huge difference. I’d love to hear your experience of asking for help. Comment down below.
If you need help, reach out to one of our partners For example, I work with a mental health rehab, Renewal Behavioral Health, an in-patient facility with a house-environment. Or, try BetterHelp for online therapy. It’s about finding the help that works for you.
Know that hey, guess what, we’re not alone in this. It’s a together thing. It’s a we thing. It’s an us thing. You’ve made it through 100% of your worst days to make it through to today. We got this.